• Seanie: I want to go home
  • Me: But... Aren't you home?
  • Seanie: No. I'm not with you

Letter to mum.


"Dear mum. I want to tell you something. I’ve wanted to tell you for over 10 months, but I never found the perfect time, because I am terrified of your reaction. As you know, boys and me have never been a good cocktail, but about 2 years ago I met this boy. He’s from England. And I know it sounds stupid and naive, but you need to know it all. I was "stupid" enough to fall for it. I spend a half year trying to get rid of the feelings, but we got closer and closer to each other, so in the end I told him that I loved him. But maybe that’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.
His name is Sean, and he is 16, like me. He’s actually only a few days younger than me, his birthday is also in March. He lives in *place city here, I know what city it is but I don’t think he want Tumblr to know* with his mum, dad and 10 year old sister. He’s extremely intelligent, a happy and open person. He’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. We’re like water and fire, and maybe that’s why we’re so close. I can’t go through a single say without talking to him. 
He knows everything about me. He knows about my selfharm, my fight against the “light depression”. He knows that I sometimes skip school because I can’t be near anyone without wanting to hide away and cry. He knows about my past, and my fear for the future. And even with all that, he never let me down and left. He not even near being “like the others”. They left the second I opened up, and left me with a even more fragile heart. But he’s still there. He’ll still spend late nights talking me from hurting myself, keeping my mind of things. He’s giving me a reason to live. And in april he’ll hopefully come here to spend a few days with me. It might just be a few days, but it’ll mean the world to me. I didn’t push him to come here, that’s his choise. 
Now I’ll ask you to at least try to accept it. I’m not saying that you have to love the idea that your daughter is in a relationship with a guy who lives 500 miles away. I just want you to try to accept it, and trust me. Because it is my heart I’m risking. And I hope you take this with an open mind. 
Please trust me, I beg you, just try to be open.”

This was extremely harsh to translate and there’s a million things I missed but I can’t be arsed to translate more, my fingers and brain hurts….

I’m going through my blog and this is what I wrote to my mum when I told her about Sean and I

" From the first time I saw your hands, I knew they would fit perfectly in mine. And then I had the chance to hold it, and I knew I would never want to let it go. "

- A distant lover

Sean and I got into a huge argument yesterday, and today I woke up to two packages from him. Not that it made up for it all, but it did kind of make me cry and miss him a bit more. I know he’s sending another soon, including some t-shirts. I’ll be crying for hours hugging his shirts. 

- Malle

The first of Malle’s birthday presents almost ready to go. Just need to get them to the post office tomorrow.

This time in two MONTHS I’ll be getting ready to pick up Sean. Time pass, please

Fail Malle. I wish it was two weeks, but it’s months, sorry