It’s 8 in the morning. I’ve barely slept. The distance has hit me hard the past few days. I cry a lot. I’m angry a lot, frustrated. I want to go home, but I can’t. I’m far away from home, and I feel lost. I want to hug him, and cuddle him. I want to kiss him and hold his hand. I want him to comfort me when I’m upset, hold me when anxiety is being too much. But we’re too far away. We’re so fucking far away from each other. 6 months till I can see him. 6 months more of this living hell.
I miss him. I miss him so much it breaks my heart to think about. To talk about. To write about. I need him home.
"Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It’s in the stars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
We’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again"
Okay so, Seanie is like the best boyfriend ever and wants to treat me to a nice piece of jewellery when I’m in London. And I’ve for fun searched jewellery shops to see what they have out there, and after like hours of finding something nice. I have a very very refined taste in jewellery. And I’m in love. This is exactly what I want. So I hope with all my heart I can find this while being in London, or at least something very very close. I’m excited and Seanie is the cutest and best Seanie ever and.. I just need London to happen now and then drag him home for two months <3
When Seanie got home last night I told him how I want a box to keep things he give me/writes me in. He found a wodden box on Amazon he’s going to get me as a part anniversary present (I think) and then during the summer we will decorate it together. I’ll be painting it white, as the base, and then we’re thinking of putting on our hand prints and then I’ll paint an outline of England and Denmark, roughly paint a heart where our towns are and then paint a penguin couple. And then I have a place to put all the notes and jewellery and what not he has gotten me.
If I were the ocean, I would pull back for you. I could fill up for you; you are the moon and I am but the sea, the wide blue, filling up for you. I made a tidal wave just to get close to you, my moon. You’re my moon ♥
3 years ago I took the biggest decision in my small 16 year old life. I told the boy I loved and had loved for half a year exactly how I felt and that I loved him more than my best mate. And to my luck, he loved me too. And that was the start of an adventure. Being 500 miles apart, the first year of our relationship was a bit.. Unsure. I was very insecure because I never had good experiences with relationships, and for Sean, I was his first girlfriend or even proper female interest. But when the first date was set to meet, I knew this was right. The 13th of April 2011 was the first time I saw Seanie in person. He was bending over his bag, trying to find something. I clearly remember the wush in my stomach and how I lacked for words. I didn’t even say hi. The ride home was so awkward, but he was so stunning. But since then, it has been perfect. We’ve seen each other 5 times more and he’s returning to Denmark in June.
Trying to explain my love to Sean is difficult. I’ve never felt so attached to a person before, let alone felt so much love towards one. Not this kind of love. I would honestly take a bullet for him, I value his life as much as my own, maybe even more. Since being with him for those 10 days in April 2010, I realised this wasn’t just a teenage kind of love. We’ve build a bond together that is so strong I doubt it could break without a proper try. We’ve grown so much as individuals while being together. Most people in my life has been pure poison to me, but Seanie is such a kind and loving being, I know he would never hurt me.
Now.. Seanie. This is for you. Thank you for loving me as much as you do. Thank you for making me feel important and special. Thank you for being the funny, intelligent, silly, childlike and wonderful person you are. Thank you for making this relationship possible. For putting so much love, energy and time into it. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to be able to call YOU my boyfriend and even (hopefully) my husband in a “few” years. I never thought I deserved love, I never imagined someone would love me as much as you do. You’re my best friend in the whole world. You make me feel comfortable and beautiful whenever you’re near. I have no reason to doubt any of your words, because you only tell me the truth. You’ve made me realise I’m not all that bad. And YOU bring out the best in me. You’re my reason to live, to breathe. I believe in us and I believe in you. You are an amazing, intelligent, funny, kind, caring, childish, loving, cheeky and sometimes a bit sassy young man. I know you’ll do great things in the future, and I hope I will be able to be by your side and see all this happen. As your love, as your Malle.
Uanset hvad der sker. Uanset hvor vi er. Skal du vide at du altid er med mig. Du er i mit hjerte. Du er i min sjæl. Jeg elsker dig. Det har jeg altid gjort og det vil jeg altid gøre.